I wrote a manual for my husband before I married him.
That manual stated that he should do the following:
Tolerate my inability to replace the toilet paper roll.
Never raise his voice at me. Or get angry with me. Or even the slightest bit frustrated. (cause, like, I'm perfect. Right?)
The thing was, I never told him I wrote this manual. I didn’t even know I had written it, until it became obvious that I had expectations of him that were unreasonable.
And when he didn't comply with my expectations, I made it mean something about ME! Yes, I was pissed the first time he didn't buy me flowers on my birthday. After all, my manual stated that he should.
The thing is, we all write manuals about how we want other people to act. And most of the time we are unaware of the fact that we’ve written the manuals.
When we write a manual for the people that we are close to (like our partners), we tend to take it personally if they don’t behave according to our manual. Especially when life gets stressful....like when you have a new baby.
So what manual have you written for your partner? Have you told them you’ve written this manual? How do you respond when he/she doesn’t act according to your manual?
Do you take it personally?
And isn’t it just silly that we’ve written this manual in the first place?
So talk to your partner today. Tell them about your manual, and listen when they tell you about theirs. And then laugh, and throw the damn manual out the window.