Binge eating. Emotional eating. Over-eating.
It sounds so silly, right?
Especially if you've never experienced it before.
Five years ago I thought I was losing my mind. I was preoccupied with food, all. The. Time.
I did not eat one brownie.
I ate the whole pan.
And a pint of ice cream.
I would get sick.
And continue eating.
I gained 15 pounds, then 20.
I would cry myself to sleep, then wake up the next morning and eat more.
I did not share how much I was suffering.
If you know me, you probably had no idea I was even suffering.
I felt so much shame. Guilt. Anger.
I was out of control.
Sometimes, I just wanted it to stop for good.
No one understood why I was doing this — not even my husband. And most importantly, I had no idea why I was doing this.
I had a baby.
I continued eating.
And then I started drinking.
This was not okay.
I felt "not okay."
And then, one day, when Parker was throwing a toddler tantrum, I had the thought "why doesn't she just shut the hell up so that I can go eat?"
And I heard my own thought.
Was that me? Someone who was abdicating the responsibility of her emotional state, to a toddler? Yes. To anyone in the room, that would happen to be there when I felt like shit.
I ate to silence many things.
I ate to feel and not to feel.
I ate to escape and to be present.
And on that day, I saw it all.
And decided that I was going to figure this shit out.
I also decided that when I did figure it out, I was going to help other women figure this shit out. I couldn't be the only one who felt trapped by this.
So I hired a life coach.
I had no idea what a life coach even was, but as an athlete, I knew I needed a coach.
And I needed help with life.
It's funny to think that those brownies, a toddler melt-down, and a woman who called herself a "life coach" would change the direction of my life forever.
She showed me my mind. She challenged my thoughts. She asked me questions so that I could see my own patterns and blocks. She pushed me. Hard. And I grew.
One day, I made brownies.
I only ate one.
I did not want, crave, or desire anymore.
Now I help other women do the same.
I help women tackle their biggest goals. Challenge themselves. Do scary things. Find their purpose. Discover their desire. Accomplish their dreams.
These clients of mine, they do epic shit.
They show up wanting a solution. But they learn the gift of Grit. Self-Confidence. Trust. Unconditional self-love.
I now have days where I can't believe I get to be a part of their process. I get to watch them grow. Challenge their thoughts. Ask questions so that they can discover their patterns and blocks. I push them hard because I believe in them, so hard.