The Mom's Guide to Making Real Friends

Updated: Feb 23, 2019

Remember when it was easy to make friends?

Or at least, it seemed like our lives were conducive to socializing with other people our age.

But once you have kids, everything changes, and you start to wonder, "where did my friends go?"

Well today, all of that changes for you.

Because I've got 7 tried-and-true tips that are sure to get you that mom-tribe you crave.

1. Stop saying “we should get together” and ACTUALLY GET TOGETHER

Einstein once observed that “Nothing happens until something moves”, and momma, you need to make the first move.

Who is currently in your phone book, on facebook, wherever, that you think might be cool to hag with, but you haven’t made the first move? Invite them to coffee. Or dinner. Or a playdate.

2. Be the friend you want to have.

Want more authentic and vulnerable connections? Start being more authentic and vulnerable. Want a friend who will motivate you to go running? Start motivating someone to nail their athletic goals.

3. If you build it, they will come.

Where do people like you hangout? Spend more time in those places. Take your work to a local coffee shop, or take a class at your gym. Where you hang out, your people hang out.

Can’t find the meet-up group that works with your schedule? Start your own meet-up group (and if this idea seems scary, that's even more reason why you should do it!). Check out the listings for local Hike-it-baby. Can't find a hike to your liking? Register as a hike leader! T

he point being, if these mom-meet-up groups are not working with your schedule, then start your own damn group! Build it, and they will come. Maybe not immediately, but keep trying. They. will. come.

4. Start saying YES!

When people ask you if they can help you, say yes! Resist that conditioned urge to be a Rosie the Riveter, and let people help you. You'll be amazed at the types of friendships that develop over a pot of chicken noodle soup.

And likewise, make offers to help other people, and then follow up on it.

And do us all a favor; NEVER ask "how can I help you?"

Instead say, "I want to help you. Give me one thing I can do for you this week. Be specific, and put a timeline on it." Your new friend will appreciate your clear communication and straight-forward approach.

5. Don’t take it personally, and expect to fail a few times.

What’s the worst that could happen?

Face your fear of rejection (and we all have that fear btw). It’s okay if people say no.

It’s okay if you ask them to coffee, just to discover you have nothing in common.

People have seasons, they may be putting all their energy to their new baby, or a new job, or maybe they are having interfamilial issues. DON’T take it personally.

6. Any time is the right time

Our life is hectic, right? So it's okay if you have to book a date with a new friend a month or so out in advance.

And also, be open to spontaneous opportunities to connect. Have a free evening? Send an impromptu invite, even if it’s last minute. "hey girl, come over for a glass of wine. I've got spaghetti brewing." You were already making the spaghetti, so it's no biggie if they can't make it.

And if you really can't find time to connect, consider having a coffee date via Facetime or Skype.

7. Empower yourself by empowering other mommas

Know someone who has a special skill you admire? Ask them to teach you that skill.

And if you have an awesome skill, make offers to teach potential new friends your skill.

There ya have it! No more excuses my gorgeous momma, because you can make mom friends, no matter the circumstance.

How can I be so certain, you ask? Because when you manage the way you think about making friends, nothing can hold you back!

By intentionally deciding, in advance, what we want the result for US to be in this situation, we will show up so authentically and open to whatever evolves.

And did you know that emotion is contagious?

If you arrive to a planned coffee date with a positive and open spirit, chances are, your beautiful friend-date will reflect that feeling back to you.

There is no way to possibly fail when making new mom friends. Unless you are still sitting around waiting for them to call you, waiting for them to find you, waiting for the right time, the right mood, the right whatever. And if you are doing this, fine. Just know you’re creating your own results, and decide to be okay with it.

So, wanna go for a coffee date with me, this Friday at noon?

Because I'll be on the StrongMom Tribe Group Page, live and in person, waiting to have life-changing conversations with you.

Your tribe already exists. Join in the conversation at StrongMom Tribe today!

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